Piranha 3D (Simpletons Review)

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Click here for 'Piranha 3D' trailer (HD)

Film : Piranha 3D
Format: Cinema (3D)
Run time (approx): 88 mins (Approx)
My Rating (out of 10):  8
Genre: Horror/Comedy/Thriller

**Contains Spoilers**

Film Highlight: A crazed raver determined to escape the massacre powers up a speed boat and plows through at least 15 innocent people in a horrific way..lol. Oh and 3D tits...

Firstly I would like to state that this film is an 18 cert. if there was a higher cert. then I'm sure it would be there instead. This film is literally blood, guts and tits (women's tits). I wouldn't call this a film 'for the family' . Piranha (3D) tells the story of what happened when an underwater tremor releases thousands of man-eating/cock-eating (if you've seen the film you know what I'm on about) piranhas from their enclosed breeding ground, a group of unlikely strangers (lesbians, porn stars, heroes... the usual) must 'join forces' to prevent death from these giant prehistoric creatures.

At this point I usually talk about the cast , but I think I've your taking any notice of who's in this film then your watching it for the wrong reasons (of course Kelly Brook is an exception though). Christopher Lloyd (Back to the future) and Richard Dreyfuss (Jaws) are featured in this film however you cant really find them in amongst the breasts and blood. There are also allot of good looking babes including Kelly Brook (and her curves) , Riley Steele and Jessica Szohr (the amount of bras and bikinis that are in this film easily reaches triple digits). Kelly brook acts superbly ... (in her lesbian underwater scene), other than that the acting isn't A-list style (but its not meant to be).

I guess its easier for me to use keywords and tags at this point because it really is just a gore filled, hormone charged, adrenaline ride with a hint of comedy and gags. The CGI wasn't great but I was hardly expecting it to be, it was good enough keep me entertained. The blood , guts and gore were so realistic (apart from the penis), some of the audience in the cinema were on the verge of being sick , I personally found it rather tame but occasionally looked away when no one was looking. The whole story was predictable but then it was never going to be another 'Jaws film'.

The 3D was worth paying the extra £2 for but some aspects were bad for example the exact same underwater foliage was shown around 4 times to show off the power of 3D , it was monotonous after the first time. To balance it out some 3D parts of the film were brilliant such as the piranhas swimming straight at you or the zip cable that came swooping out of the screen and resulted in a women getting sliced cleanly in half.

At the end of the day...
See this film if...
- Your a guy (or a girl of course, no discrimination here...)
- Your not homosexual
- You love blood,guts and gore
- You loved 'Jaws'
- Your not going to take it serious
- You love 'Girls gone wild'