Badass DJ Headphones

Just sayin ...

Reaching out for Nero's Album

Long time no see Bloggers. Hope everyone's had a smashing Christmas. Anyway enough with the small talk.

My Album of the year is clearly - Nero's 'Welcome Reality'

Now Nero aren't some sort of break-through artists or constant chart toppers but the songs they produce are pretty damn decent. Nero do some mainstream songs which are quite light and dancey/Clubbey (and any other words that do not even exist) such as "Me and you" and "Guilt". However there are some more heavy electro/dubstep songs on their album such as "Crush on You" and "Innocence".

Overall its an album with at least 8 awesome songs on which everyone would enjoy . So fucking get it please.

(Only £4.99 on itunes right now)

Reaching Out 

Crush on You

Doomsday

Skrillex, a man with no genres

Hey long time no see. Well I cant really see you but lets just pretend. Recently been taken by the dubstep craze but something I didn't expect to happen was my instant love for Skrillex, its something totally different. A whole kettle of genres mixed up and made into some sort of genre hybrid. Some say its noise others a masterpiece. Seeing him live would be a dream come true (no homo).

Elecro, dubstep, glitch, dance.

Hip/Hop isn't totally dead

(Fast Lane, Eminem & Royce da 5'9)

Eminem and Royce Da 5'9 (Im gonna guess that 5'9 is his height or something) have rap/spat some lyrics together and made an album. A fucking awesome album which brings back the old Eminem and adds so much value in terms of lyrics, flows and beats. BUY THE ALBUM. Hip Hop isn't totally dead ... but it is a lil bit.

Dirty, chavy & skanky , I love it !

(Mind spinning, Lethal Bizzle)

Heard this song (if you could call it a song, I personally see it as a pile of vomit ... good vomit) the other day. It hasn't been released yet but its sure to be a hit in the UK. Lethal Bizzle a UK grime artist mixes dubstep, R&B and grime to satisfy a mainstream crowd in the UK ... and it works ... kinda.

Due for release on the 19th June

Get X-Ed or get ... executed by...err

X-Ed, David Banner

Hey Homies/Hood rats. I watched a film called 'See No Evil' the other day starring 'Kane' from WWE (the fucking huge bald guy who was burnt by 'The Undertaker'. To be honest it was a fairly decent slasher movie. I even preferred it to the newest 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. Its worth picking it up for £0.99 on Ebay, especially if you like gory mindless slasher movies with amateur acting.

At the end of 'See No Evil' during the credits was a song called 'X-ed' by David Banner (never really heard much of his songs apart from Rubber band man). Its worth a buy and features a pretty good flow from a rapper named 'kamikaze' (presumably it is spelt like the self destructive sensei).

The Major Approves this song
The Major could get Crunk to this song
The Major would turn up the bass to this song if he owned a Chevy

Watchmen Blu-Ray SteelBook

Hey ghetto dwellers, bass pumpers and SteelBook humpers. Another quicky, I took a few pictures of an awesome new SteelBook I got recently from Ebay. Its the German or Dutch version of Watchmen. It is the theatrical movie and not the directors cut. I personally prefer the directors cut because its adds more depth to the movie, but I have that on Blu-Ray anyway, so its all good.

A highly recommended film and certainly in my 'Top  20 stupidly fucking awesome beyond belief films'.

The artwork stands out so much, its also a matt finish.

A SteelBook Bargain (District 9)

Hey guys, just a quick one. Got home from work today to find the first of many SteelBook's that I have purchased in the past week (10 in total) by the letter box. It is one of the cheapest SteelBook's I have bought (New). It is of course Neill Blomkamp's 'District 9' (DVD) an awesome Sci-Fi film, if you haven't seen this film yet then I highly recommend it.

This cost me £3.99 at HMV.com
(Buy it Now ! Before it's SOLD OUT) 
That's cheaper than the standard DVD case version because its on sale. The artwork and colour is pretty damn good and relates to the films style e.g slums, scrap metal and "focking prawns".

The 3rd picture shows the back of the Steelbook, however this is a removable cardboard slip case. I'm not opening it because I already have it on Blu-Ray (call me a fuck-tard if you like).

Notes:

Region B2

UK Edition

Blu Ray Steelbook Pre-Order's (25/04/2011)

Hey everyone. I hope you all had a awesome weekend. I apologize for the recent lack of posts to my Blog but iv'e been slightly busy and what with Blogger randomly deciding to freeze whilst i was just about to post the Machete review i lost 1 hours work...Fuckin Chuck Norris!

Any way this post continues from a recent post about Blu Ray Steelbooks and where to Pre-Order the latest from. If your like me you should be excited right now and close to jizzing in your pants (all jokes... just to clear that up). Im starting to think that Steelbooks are getting too popular with producers, they are starting to mass-produce them and avoid deeming them OOP (out of print) due to heavy increase in Steelbook licking freaks (like me) purchasing them.

Heres the list !

(everything below subject to change... please dont sue me).
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True Grit: Region Free:: Hmv Exclusive: Steelbook

Price: £17.99
Location: HMV Online
Release Date: 13/06/2011
Link: http://hmv.com/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;0;-1;-1;-1&sku=141290
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Paul: Blu-ray: Dvd : Digital: Ltd: Steelbook

Price: £17.99
Location: HMV Online
Release Date: 13/06/2011
Link: http://hmv.com/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;0;-1;-1;-1&sku=106691
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Green Hornet: Hmv Exclusive: Steelbook

Price: £16.99
Location: HMV Online
Release Date: 02/05/2011
Link: http://hmv.com/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;0;-1;-1;-1&sku=958550
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Akira: 2blu: Blu-ray: Dvd: Steelbook

Price: £17.99
Location: HMV Online
Release Date: 27/06/2011
Link: http://hmv.com/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;0;-1;-1;-1&sku=996157
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Scarface: Blu-ray: Dvd : Digital: Steelbook

Price: £17.99
Location: HMV Online
Release Date: 05/09/2011
Link: http://hmv.com/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;0;-1;-1;-1&sku=384638
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Adjustment Bureau: Blu-ray: Dvd : Digital: Ltd: Steelbook

Price: £17.99
Location: HMV Online
Release Date: 11/07/2011
Link: http://hmv.com/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;0;-1;-1;-1&sku=14264
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Recent Movie Trailers

Hey homies, just a few trailers that have been released recently. Sucker Punch is going to be totally awesome.

  Captain America

            

Sucker Punch   



  Mr.Poppers Penguins

The latest news from IMDB in a nutshell

The 'Hobbit' starts its 14 month filming in New Zealand

 Yes you've probably heard it here seventh but Peter Jackson has announced filming of the prequel to the best trilogy EVER!. The Hobbit will be filmed in two parts much like the latest Harry Potter film (whether this is to make as much money as possible or its just too big to cut down well never know). Anyway rest assure Peter Jackson stuck to his promise and he has pictures to prove it (a picture that appears to be him sat in his own home with sacks of fresh vegetables, its proof ! errr...). The first film is due to hit cinemas late 2012 if everything goes well and the hobbits resist leg humping Gandalf.

Article: http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/archives/the_hobbit_begins_its_14-month_shoot_in_new_zealand/

 Lord Of The Rings: Limited Extended Edition Blu-ray on Sale June 28th

 FINALLY after waiting an eternity for the Blu-Ray release of the extended edition of  'The Lord of The Rings' trilogy, we have a date ! June 28th. Hold out just a lil longer my rebellious people. Like many other fans I held out and resisted buying the Blu-Ray release of the trilogy to speed up the release of the extended edition and to cull the revenue of the theatrical release. The predictable downside of this release is the over-priced price-mark of $119.98. The RRP of the theatrical release (Blu-Ray)  was set at £59.99 but soon plummeted to £15.99 (http://www.play.com/), lets hope the same happens.

15 Discs (of which 6 are Blu-Ray)

Nice box design

A further enhancement of quality of 'The Fellowship of The Ring'

Article: http://collider.com/lord-of-the-rings-extended-edition-blu-ray-release-date-features/81545/

David Slade Comments on ‘Daredevil’ and ‘The Wolverine’ Controversy

David Slade uses Twitter in a drunken outrage and releases... I'm joking of course. David Slade announces on Twitter an update to his potential movies 'Daredevil' and 'Wolverrine'. The script for the new (totally separate) Daredevil film hasn't seen pen and paper and is in early development so this could be years away, disappointing.

Article: http://www.slashfilm.com/david-slade-comments-daredevil-the-wolverine-controversy/

Jodie Foster to direct untitled new sci-fi

Bahahahahahaha.

Article: Total Film Jodie Foster Article

Gordon-Levitt set for role in The Dark Knight Rises

"Joesph Gordon-Levitt will play Alberto Falcone in the forthcoming final instalment of Christopher Nolan's Batman saga, The Dark Knight Rises, reports Variety. Gordon-Levitt, long rumoured to be taking a role in the follow-up to the Dark Knight, will potentially portray the serial killer alongside Tom Hardy, who has already been cast as strong man Bane, and Anne Hathaway, who takes the role of Selina Kyle, aka Catwoman."

Full Article at: http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/mar/21/joseph-gordon-levitt-dark-knight

"You are going to see Cloverfield 2"

Eargasm ! Just what I wanted to hear, loved 'Cloverfield' even if i did throw up in someones face twice due to camera shakes (JOKE). When ? we don't know but its practically a guarantee from Matt Reeves.

Article: http://www.slashfilm.com/cloverfield-2-matt-reeves/

Battle: Los Angeles (Simpletons Review)

(Review Below)

Film : Battle: Los Angeles
Format: Cinema Standard Def
Run time (approx): 1 hr 56 Mins
My Rating (out of 10):  6.5
Rating for an action flick (out of 10): 9
Genre: Sci-Fi/Action

Film Highlight: Surround sound made me feel part of the battle.

** MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS **

Battle: Los Angeles , a simple film with a simple plot. A group of stereotypical marines (a retarded rookie, a big black guy with a scar, a hero staff Sergeant and an annoying Hispanic) are involved in a rescue mission to evacuate a bunch of civilians out of a police HQ when the world becomes invaded by an 'unknown force' from the skys.

I was so hyped about this film, followed the multiple trailers that were released, jacked off to the nice posters that were shown (to confirm that was a joke) and even made a Facebook fan page (also a joke). The cast Aaron Eckhart (Harvey Dent !), Michelle Rodriguez (Fast and the Furious), Ne-Yo (Yep... the mainstream R&B singer) and other previous 'war film castings' are OK but it was all just the typical war movie jokes and war movie shouts with war movie cliches. They didn't have much to work with to prove themselves as actors, Aaron Eckhart was by far the best performance, realistic emotion and believable anger.

This film is a mix between 'Black Hawk Down' , 'Independance Day' and 'Cloverfield', that's a swell thing right? Yeah if its as good as them all but unfortunately it isn't. Some elements from each film were used such as the 'shakey camera' from Cloverfield, the Alien invasion from 'Independance Day' and a similar type of rescue mission from 'Black Hawk Down'.

Like all Alien films I watch, I also always find the weaponry, design and technology of the invaders interesting. B LA had great ideas mixed with awful ideas, the huge shock wave cannons and incendiary type rounds were awesome. However their ships looked like something from a scarp yard (ghetto spaceships) and the audience find themselves watching Aaron Eckhart and a qualified vet (yes a vet...) discover the aliens weakness in a 20 minute (exaggeration) dissection, only to find they have a god damn heart like the rest of us (in the same position!). We find out why the aliens are invading earth ( for resources) but its hardly explained. The ending is also bad, but I'm not gonna spoil it for you but you could probably guess it before the film starts.

As an action flick/alien invasion film this is outstanding but your gonna have to take your brain out and put on those action goggles. Watching it in the cinema with surround sound was so intense and really made you feel part of the action, definitely recommend you go watch it at the cinema.

At the end of the day...
+ Great action/alien flick
+ An improvement from Skyline
+ Sound was used to perfection
+ Tense moments
+ Some good alien ideas
- Standard war cliches, lines and turn of events
- Bad ending
- Predictable

Paul (The Alien) (Simpletons Review)

(Review Below)

Film : Paul
Format: Standard Def
Run time (approx):
My Rating (out of 10):  8
Genre: Adventure/Comedy/Sci-Fi

Film Highlight: The Mos Eisley bar scene returns from Star Wars, with a comical finish. Oh and an alien with three tits !! Awesome

Paul, a movie directed by Greg Mottola and written by comedy duo Simon Pegg and Nick Frost is about two British comic book enthusiasts travelling across the United States but encounter an alien outside of area 51.

This movie has a strong budget and it doesn't fail to show, the cast was chosen to pin-point precision with every actor completing the mission given to them. Of course we had Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (Hot Fuzz/Shaun of the Dead) but other cast members included Sigourney Weaver (OMG Legend), Jefferey Tambor (HellBoy), David Koechner and Seth Rogen (as the voice of Paul). Except for the Corneto munching Nick Frost and the Japanese Peace Lilly savouir Simon Pegg, the other comedy duo Jason Bateman and Nelson Ascencio (A couple of dumb-ass agents) stole the show with their comic performance which brought many laugh out loud moments.

I loved the story and plot of this film, I mean who wouldn't want to help a drug fueled stereotypical alien get home, and theres no one better to do it than Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. There are so many comic book references and nerdy film jokes, which isn't a bad thing at all unless you absolutely hate films such as Star Wars ( but if you do I don't want you on my blog anymore... go on ... GO!). If i had to "Schalgg" this film off in anyway it would probably be the dragged out slightly stupid ending, however this is expected and you easily learn to live with it.

In my opinion this would of been an insanely better film if the horror/comedy genre was used like in Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead. Make the alien/s realistic and horrifying and get them to eat people or something. Of course the whole story would need changing and the film re-naming which would be a shame (unhappy face), so its probably in your interest to completely ignore this confusing opinionated paragraph.

At the end of the Day...
+ If you like Hot Fuzz or Shaun of the Dead you will love this (same humour)
+ Excellent cast
+ Full of laugh out loud moments
+ Comic book and film references
+ Strong story
- Slightly dragged out stupid ending
- Some silly moments

Spider-Man 'The Amazing Spider-Man' (2012)

Hey homies/friends/blog followers and the recently deceased... hope your all well. If you haven't heard already the new Spider-Man movie is no longer known as 'The new Spider-Man movie', it has now been allocated its awful film (and comic) name; The Amazing Spider-Man ! Lets just hope the film turns out to be more of an improvement than the name was... which would be hard because its absolutely shockingly awful !! (Yes i know its named after the comic book, but Spider Man really isnt that amazing compared to other Marvel superheroes.)

OK so what would 'TheMajor' of called it? you may ask. Well in response , anything apart from that (if this film turns out to be amazing then i take it back, but seeing as Marc Webb is the director I'm pretty sure my pride is safe). To avoid breaking any infringements they could of called it 'Sp!der Man' or 'Spid3r M4n' even random numerical characters beat 'The Amazing Spider Man'.

Andrew Garfield plays Peter Parker/Spider-Man, who the hell is he though ? he looks like someone from the cast of Glee, well at least his frizzing feathered hair will prevent any emo Peter Parker from appearing. Emma Stone to play Gwen, Martin Sheen to play Ben Parker, Rhys Ifans to play The Lizard/Dr. Curt Connors (great choice) and Philip Seymour Hoffman rumoured to play a bearded Venom (weird choice).

The costume looks supa awsome... just to throw that one out there. (Link Below)

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1351072256/tt0948470

'Cracking' Trailer Releases

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Here are a few movie trailers that have been released recently, Captain America (First Avenger) and World Invasion : LA are my personal favourites however all of these films will be seen by the Major himself, this way you can guarentee its gonna be good... well... entertaining at the least. Enjoy !



X Men : First Class Trailer

 



Thor Trailer

Pirates of the Carribean: On Strangers Tides Trailer

World Invasion : LA Trailer

Captain America: The First Avenger Trailer

 

Scream 4 Trailer



Vampire Killer (Priest) Trailer

Grave Encounters Trailer

(1.48 "He startled the Witch" ( A comment on YouTube) Haha))

Sanctum 3D (simpletons Review)

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Film: Sanctum 3D
Format: 3D
Run time (approx): 109 mins (Approx)
My Rating (out of 10):  7
Genre: Action/Adventure/Drama

Film Highlight: Spectacular underwater scenery and a stunning environment.

The cast of neighbours are back with a few of their friends for a feature length film ! Jokes aside but you may get that impression after you first dive (pun intended) into this film, the script is that awful. But lets not start on bad terms (oh wait I just did...).

The film is based on a true story and follows a team of underwater cave divers on an expedition to a ridiculously massive, least accessible cave system on earth. It all goes terribly wrong when a tropical storm forces them deeper into this sanctum to face an underwater maze, high claustrophobia, raging water, the sound of their own annoying accents and a crazy psychopath that appears to be Lancelot from King Arthur... my bad hes part of the expedition group. There's also some "I don't know my father, the way i want to" cheese that's overly used in films these days, but I suppose it doesn't take anything away from the film visually.

Richard Roxburgh (Dracula,Van Helsing) plays the father/expert of all caves large whilst his son Rhys Wakefield (looks like he should be in Skins or something) plays the son ( a 17 year old cave climbing expert... HAAAHAAAHA). Other cast members include Ioan Gruffudd (King Arthur), Alice Parkinson (X-men Origins), Dan Wyllie (Chopper) and Christopher Baker (The Condemned). Richard Roxburgh certainly stood out in terms of performance and he was the most convincing actor there but that might of had something to do with the awful script or bad cliches every other second, all the good cliches were ruined by the Australian accent which just didn't suit them. There were a few emotional moments in the film followed by disturbing scenes, but i wont ruin it for you.

The main reason I wanted to go and see this film was because of the panic filled, claustrophobic, spectacular cave system roller coaster that I saw in the trailer. Sanctum certainly lived up to this and the 3D just made it unbelievably realistic, it felt like you were really there (for most of the duration). I was close to having a panic attack when confronting my two biggest fears; water and the feeling of being closed in. But it was adrenaline filled and fun.

On a separate note , James Cameron was one of the producers of this film, I suspect it was more of a research task to trial out 3D underwater and in a different environment to prepare for the sequel to Avatar.

At the end of the day...
+3D made this film, see it in 3D its stunning
+Spectacular scenery and environment
+Something different
+Visually amazing (with a little help from James Cameron)
-Awful script
-Cheesy cliches
-Majority of cast seemed like they had retired from neighbours
-Some predictable parts

Joseph Gordon-Levitt appearing in The Dark knight Rises

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JGL Confirmed. The Dark Knight Rises

Hey viewers how you doing?

I will hopefully be watching Sanctum Saturday and then writing up some sort of review for you to feast your eyes on.

However in the mean time it has been announced that Joseph Gordon-Levitt (JGL) will appear in the new Christopher Nolan Batman film (The Dark Knight Rises), Nolan obviously thinks that JGL can live up to 'The Dark Knights' reputation after casting him in 'Inception'. I totally agree with him, I think its a great choice, Nolan should be able to find a role for someone who looks like a cheeky goblin somewhere in the film (only kidding JGL... the hair doesn't help).

Now we already know the babe that is Anne Hathaway will play Catwomen and Tom Hardy (Inception) will play Bane and Nolan doesn't want to cram the film with bad guys so there is big discussion what JGL will actually do. Some say he may just play as Heath Ledgers Joker in a short scene (in Arkham), others are proposing that he could dive into the role of the Riddler due to his "cheeky appearance", personally I think he would look like the Riddler but lack the humor/personality required to start building the role. Who cares what the hell he is made to do, even if he is 'Police Officer 3' it would still make a better movie with him then without him. Expect to see more cast and crew from previous Nolan films appearing in 'Rises'. Production of the film starts in the spring. I cant friggin wait.

IMDB - Cast List (Click Here)

Total Film - Discussion (Click Here)

Hot SteelBook Pre-Orders

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Good evening blog viewers, I haven't watched a film in a while so to keep my blog alive and update as possible I'm going to give you a short list of hot pre-orders to look out for.

Now if you are like me and and completely obsessed with Steelbook releases then this post could be helpful for tracking down those exclusive releases.

Machete
Version: UK
Artwork: TBC
Price: £16.99
Release Date: 21/03/2011
Where to Pre-Order: HMV
http://hmv.com/hmvweb/displayProductDetails.do?ctx=280;0;-1;-1;-1&sku=626260

Monsters
Version: German
Artwork: TBC
Price: £17.88 (20.99 EUR)
Release Date: 20/05/2011
Where to Pre-Order: Amazon.de
http://www.amazon.de/Monsters-Blu-ray/dp/product/B004FJQC0E?SubscriptionId=0AKK26D74VRPDADHKP02&tag=bluraycom04-21&linkCode=xm2&camp=2025&creative=165953&creativeASIN=B004FJQC0E

Monsters is likely to have English DTS and Machete region B/2 maybe even region free.

Whenever I hear of any new Steelbook pre-order announcements I will post a quick update on my Blog.

If you know of any others please post a comment for other collectors to see ! Thanks

Inception (Simpletons Review)

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(Review Below)

Film: Inception
Format: Blu-Ray
Run time (approx): 148 mins (Approx)
My Rating (out of 10):  9.5
Genre: Action/Crime/Mystery

**Contains Spoilers**

Film Highlight: The list is endless, the whole film.

OK so if you haven't seen/read/heard any of the reviews and news based around Christopher Nolan's 'Inception' then you have probably been dreaming (no intentional pun what so ever... really). It is one of Nolan's best ever films (on par with 'The Dark Knight'), and in my opinion one of THE best directors to come out of a mothers womb. 'David Lynch' and 'The Coen Brothers were so damn fly they didn't require a women to put them on this earth, they have been making movies ever since the Dino age... you just didn't realise it.

OK must keep on track, the film is about a highly skilled thief that uses developed technology to enter the human mind through dream invasion, he is given a final chance at redemption but must perform Inception (planting an idea into someones mind), his most difficult job to date.

The cast led me into an orgasm and includes, Leonardo DiCaprio (whose resemblance is uncanny to Christopher Nolan), Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Tom Hardy, Ken Watanabe, Pete Postlethwaite (RIP, awesome actor) and Cillian Murphy. Roles were played well considering the lack of character development, however I guess they had enough trouble  cutting the film down to 2 and a half hours. YES 2 hours 28 minutes to be exact, so if you don't have a pause button your gonna have to invest in one of those sacks you get in hospitals to control any occurring bladder issues, either that or you risk missing a concept in the film that you WILL need to catch up on otherwise it will end up like a motorway pile up.

Word of advise, if you like mindless action films and you are also slightly retarded then it is probably best you bring a note pad to the viewing of this film. It involves allot of thinking, a large amount of information for your mind to string together and a fair few distractions (for example hundreds of characters). I personally have watched this film at least 3 times and only fully understood it after the 2nd time of viewing, it is a film you can watch over and over again due to its edgy plot, rapid story lining and sophistication.

I could blab on and on about this film but I have a 'arts and crafts' club i need to go to... Jokes. It is a must see film before you die and will always be one of those 'memorable' films you never forget, a classic. It has been voted the 7th best film in the world by IMDB users (19/01/2011) and there could even be a sequel (whole new plot, same ideas).

At the end of the day...
+ Realism (So believable, most aspects and theory's can be related to real life, it is about dreams...)
+ Combination of action , edgy drive, and rapid story keep you entertained throughout the 148 minutes
+ Director and cast are highly professional
+ A film that really makes you think
+ Unique idea/plot
+Sound track was brilliant
- Lack of character development
- Too many distractions (i.e random characters)
- Things were explained by certain characters and then it happens straight after (used too much).

Legion (Simpletons Review)

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(Review Below)

Film: Legion
Format: Blu-Ray
Run time (approx): 100 mins (Approx)
My Rating (out of 10):  5.5
Genre: Action/Fantasy/Horror

**Contains Spoilers**

Film Highlight: Someones old fragile grandma is a cannibalistic free runner that prefers to wear pink jumpers and eat very rare meat.

Legion , directed by Scott Charles Stewart is a 'end of human race' film. A diner becomes the battleground for the survival of the human race, god loses faith in humankind (Not hard) and sends his armies of angels/possessed people with big mouths (Palmer Anderson is exempt) to bring on the Apocalypse. Hope lies with a group of stereotypical 'truck stop dwellers' and angel 'Michael' that refused his order from god.

The whole idea of this film excited me (allot...) , angels , massive wings, guns, end of mankind, possessed people e.t.c. There was so much potential for a film like this but unfortunately there were a number of things that let it down. The cast was also strong, Paul Bettany (Davinci Code), Lucas Black (Tokyo Drift), Tyrese Gibson and Dennis Quaid. Even Doug Jones (Hellboy) makes an appearance as an 'ice cream man' with long limbs ! The budget was also a comfy $26 million but still failed to satisfy.

Like other reviewers are saying, the first 70 minutes of the film are entertaining but the last 30 minutes are rushed with a bad ending which seemed dragged a bit like 'Skyline'. Character development was awful even though we spent about half the film learning about a stuck up family with a slut of a daughter, a black guy with a gun (woah!?) , a chef with one hand and a diner owner that obviously hates TVs. Dialogue was predictable, some aspects of the film wasn't but was then ruined by the revealing trailers. There was some good action scenes and the film was different in terms of action horrors.

At the end of the day...
+A Good cast
+A different variation of action/horrors
+At least its a change from holding up in a mall
-Bad attempt at character development
-Predictable
-Last 30 minutes go down hill (except the angel show down in the diner)

Resident Evil : Afterlife (Simpletons Review)

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(Review Below)

Film: Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D
Format: Cinema (3D)
Run time (approx): 97 mins (Approx)
My Rating (out of 10):  7.5

Genre: Action/Adventure/Horror

Film Highlight: The huge axe man from Resident Evil 5 (Video Game) appears, with his blood-stained axe, fish hooks and fuck ugly face (simply a judgemental guess).

I am a huge fan of the Resident Evil franchise (video games & Films) so this film review could be completely biased, however I will try to balance it out as much as possible. I must also point out that this film should be watched in 3D, the technology is used extremely well here 2nd to Avatar, daggers, bullets, knifes and axes are constantly emerging from the screen and you find yourself occasionally sitting back more into your seat, if you didn’t then I envy your wonderfully macho life...

OK the film continues on from the third film (Resident Evil Extinction), yep Alice and her new set of buddy’s ranging from a big headed stereotypical basketball player to a prick of a film director (went for the subtle option) who are determined to find salvation in a relocated safe haven (Arcadia) and take down the Umbrella corporation at the same time.

The cast includes Milla Jovovich (Hotty No.1), Ali Larter (Hotty No.2), Spencer locke (Hotty No.3), Sienna Guillory (Hotty No.4), Shawn Roberts, Kim Coates and Wentworth Miller. In terms of visuals I personally cannot complain about the choice of casting (actresses only), there was hardly any dialogue anyway and if there was it just flies over the top of you because it’s so bad but there’s action and zombies to watch ! Who cares? Shawn Roberts also played Wesker well (The most evil evilest evil man on earth...pure evil...and bad ass).

I’ve always said the Resident Evil film series should have been similar to the video games; it would have made allot more sense taking into account how awesome they were. Paul W.S Anderson must have heard my plea (3 films too late) because ‘Afterlife’ was rammed pack with video game elements (Axe man, Chris Redfield, Wesker, zombies with herpes, dogs that split apart e.t.c). I really don’t think it worked as well as it could have done; besides nothing was explained properly.

This is a pure entertainment film and nothing more, fans of the series will love it because they are fans. Movie critics that lack sane life will demolish this film in their reviews due to a lack of plot, no dialogue, too many clichés, too much slow mo and mindless action. This is no ‘Inception’ ... but it wasn’t meant to be!

At the end of the day...
+A 'must see' for fans of the franchise
+A 'must see' for Action/Horror/Zombie fans
+Relates more to the video game (5)
+Mind blowing 3D technique
+WESKER !
-Lacks plot,dialogue and character forming
-Too much slow mo
-Lack of explanation

127 Hours (Simpletons Review)

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Film: 127 Hours
Format: Cinema (Standard def)
Run time (approx): 94 mins (Approx)
My Rating (out of 10):  8
Genre: Adventure/Biography/Drama

Film Highlight: When stuck between a rock and a hard place for 3 days the urge to ‘tug the bishop’ is still there. “Really...?” (I didn’t want to give anything away so resorted to this.)

127 hours is based on a true story and the novel ‘Between a Rock and a Hard Place’ (Aaron Ralston). A mountain climber becomes trapped between a rock and a hard place (un-intentional pun) whilst canyoneering as a lone ranger near Moab, Utah and must find a solution to his dilemma before it’s too late.

I was very sceptical about watching this movie; I wanted to watch ‘Season of the Witch’ but was strongly out-voted by fellow mates. I thought it would be boring and predictable but Danny Boyle does well in terms of sound, camera techniques and choice of cast. James Franco (Spiderman, he plays the douche that goes by the name of Harry Osborn) has the leading role and the honour of interpreting Aron Ralston’s real life experience of being trapped for 127 hours. I must stress that James Franco acted perfectly/flawless and suited the role well. The babe that is Kate Mara (Shooter/Iron Man 2) and the not so babe that is Amber Tamblyn (The ring) are the other ‘stars’ (judge for yourself) in this film, they play the two retarded climbers that are lost. The reason they are climbing in Moab when they can’t even read a map the correct way around is beyond me. Still it adds slight variety and eye candy to the film.

The film is thrilling and emotional even if there is only one main location throughout the film, the use of hallucinations and flashbacks is very effective and there are also points of laughter as we are attached to Aron in his fight for survival.

At the end of the day...
+An interesting film that provides emotional attachment and thrilling scenes.
+A true story unbelievably close to the real thing (watch the interview with Aaron Ralston Here (Spoiler))
+A must see for anyone
-If you are squeamish...then I hope you have use of your arms so you can cover your eyes in anxiety.

Top 20 Films of All Time (IMDB User votes)

Have you ever pondered the question, "So what are the top films of all time" ? If you have then brilliant ! if you haven't ... then you have now. So now Ive established that everyone reading this blog is pondering the same question, I can provide you with an answer of some form. I take no credit for any of this although my copy and pasting skills are insane. All property of IMDB.com.

The table below is taken from the IMDB website (http://www.imdb.com/chart/top) This is user based voting.
(Table changes on a day to day basis , this was extracted on 8th January 2011)

Rank	Rating	Title	Votes
1.	9.2	The Shawshank Redemption (1994)	549,242
2.	9.1	The Godfather (1972)	429,917
3.	9.0	The Godfather: Part II (1974)	259,055
4.	8.9	The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)	171,180
5.	8.9	Pulp Fiction (1994)	438,654
6.	8.9	Inception (2010)	273,673
7.	8.9	Schindler's List (1993)	290,763
8.	8.9	12 Angry Men (1957)	127,900
9.	8.8	One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)	226,776
10.	8.8	The Dark Knight (2008)	490,534
11.	8.8	Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)	290,717
12.	8.8	The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)	382,526
13.	8.8	Seven Samurai (1954)	101,395
14.	8.7	Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977)	333,867
15.	8.7	Fight Club (1999)	404,038
16.	8.7	Goodfellas (1990)	241,311
17.	8.7	Casablanca (1942)	174,674
18.	8.7	City of God (2002)	176,996
19.	8.7	The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)	405,626
20.	8.7	Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)	78,778

After checking multiple film websites such as EMPIRE and TOTAL FILM, the top 20 list is so varied. Of course your going to have epic outstanding films such as 'The Shawshank Redemption' ,'Pulp Fiction' and 'The Godfather' in there but there will always be clashes of opinions between films like 'The Lord of the Rings' ,the 'Star Wars' sagas and 'Alien'. But At the end of the day... everyone has their own opinion unless your one of the voters/criminals that voted 'Fight club' into the top 20.

The Expendables (Simpletons Review)

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Film : The Expendables
Format: Cinema (Standard def)
Run time (approx): 103 mins (Approx)
My Rating (out of 10):  7.5
Genre: Action/Adventure/Thriller

Film Highlight: AA-12 Automatic shotgun can decapitate at least 20 South Americans in 20 seconds. With Cheese Burger Eddy behind it anyway...

Directed by Sly Stallone (smacks head) oh god... But Wait its an action flick so it’s going to be awesome Wright? Pretty much. The plot: Smack, pow, bang, boom... no it’s not a drug fuelled porn movie. But seriously a group of hardened mercenaries specialised in all kinds of warfare head to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator on an island.

The cast is impressive especially if you are a fan of all the action movies here's a list;

Sylvester Stallone (Rambo/Rocky) - Plays the leader of the mercenaries
Jason Statham (Transporter) – Knife Enthusiast
Jet Li (Kiss of the Dragon) – Martial Arts expert
Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV) – Uncontrollable Massive guy
Randy Couture (The Unit) – Demolitionist  
Terry Crews (Longest Yard) – Heavy Weapons
Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler) – Tattooist,

Eric Roberts (The Dark Knight) – ‘Bad Guy’
Steve Austin (WWE) – ‘Bad guys’ right hand man
David Zayas (Dexter) – The general
Charisma Carpenter (Angel)

Arnold Schwarzenegger (Commando/Predator) – Cameo
Bruce Willis (Die hard) - Cameo

For men it’s like a dream come true, their favourite action heroes from back in the day have returned. A reviewer on the IMDB described this as ‘Sex in the City’ for men, well they are correct! (PLEASE NOTE: I have never watched ‘Sex in the City’, I’d like to keep my hard man reputation I have maintained within this review).

DO NOT expect a brilliant story, DO NOT expect intense, thought through dialogues, DO NOT expect a mushy love scene (although Arnie and Bruce Willis need to get rid of their sexual tension), DO NOT expect cute puppies. EXPECT some easy to watch, non-stop action flick with lots of explosions and an all star action hero cast.

Although this film was great it was still expendable, it had so much potential, if only they came out with new one liners, developed the script, used all actors to their potentials and integrated better CGI (The part where Steve Austin is burned alive was laughable, in both senses. The fact that a well known wrestler is rolling around on fire and how bad the CGI was).

At the end of the day...
+A film for 80s action flick fans
+Enough weapons, explosions and action heroes to keep a hard on
+Fans of Rambo, Commando and predator will love
-Could have been so much better
-Bad dialogue
-Some CGI and sound Effects were bad considering budget