The Expendables (Simpletons Review)

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Film : The Expendables
Format: Cinema (Standard def)
Run time (approx): 103 mins (Approx)
My Rating (out of 10):  7.5
Genre: Action/Adventure/Thriller

Film Highlight: AA-12 Automatic shotgun can decapitate at least 20 South Americans in 20 seconds. With Cheese Burger Eddy behind it anyway...

Directed by Sly Stallone (smacks head) oh god... But Wait its an action flick so it’s going to be awesome Wright? Pretty much. The plot: Smack, pow, bang, boom... no it’s not a drug fuelled porn movie. But seriously a group of hardened mercenaries specialised in all kinds of warfare head to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator on an island.

The cast is impressive especially if you are a fan of all the action movies here's a list;

Sylvester Stallone (Rambo/Rocky) - Plays the leader of the mercenaries
Jason Statham (Transporter) – Knife Enthusiast
Jet Li (Kiss of the Dragon) – Martial Arts expert
Dolph Lundgren (Rocky IV) – Uncontrollable Massive guy
Randy Couture (The Unit) – Demolitionist  
Terry Crews (Longest Yard) – Heavy Weapons
Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler) – Tattooist,

Eric Roberts (The Dark Knight) – ‘Bad Guy’
Steve Austin (WWE) – ‘Bad guys’ right hand man
David Zayas (Dexter) – The general
Charisma Carpenter (Angel)

Arnold Schwarzenegger (Commando/Predator) – Cameo
Bruce Willis (Die hard) - Cameo

For men it’s like a dream come true, their favourite action heroes from back in the day have returned. A reviewer on the IMDB described this as ‘Sex in the City’ for men, well they are correct! (PLEASE NOTE: I have never watched ‘Sex in the City’, I’d like to keep my hard man reputation I have maintained within this review).

DO NOT expect a brilliant story, DO NOT expect intense, thought through dialogues, DO NOT expect a mushy love scene (although Arnie and Bruce Willis need to get rid of their sexual tension), DO NOT expect cute puppies. EXPECT some easy to watch, non-stop action flick with lots of explosions and an all star action hero cast.

Although this film was great it was still expendable, it had so much potential, if only they came out with new one liners, developed the script, used all actors to their potentials and integrated better CGI (The part where Steve Austin is burned alive was laughable, in both senses. The fact that a well known wrestler is rolling around on fire and how bad the CGI was).

At the end of the day...
+A film for 80s action flick fans
+Enough weapons, explosions and action heroes to keep a hard on
+Fans of Rambo, Commando and predator will love
-Could have been so much better
-Bad dialogue
-Some CGI and sound Effects were bad considering budget